Blimey O'Riley I've Lost my Pants
by WoctherRilo
Summary: Georgia is officially the girlfriend of the Luurve God Masimo, but is there trouble in paradise. Or did she just make the wrong choice to begin with. Georgia/Dave
1. Chapter 1

**10:30pm**

Life is vair vair confusing.

I should be fabbity fab fab, I'm finally (after lots of sticky eye work) the Luurve God's one and only but for some reason, I can't get Dave the tart off of my mind.

I mean, he did tell me he loved me...didn't he?

**10:42pm**

Phoned Jas, unfortunatly my best freind has the attention plan of a pigeon, a pigeon with sticky outty fringe.

"So what's wrong?"

"I've been trying to tell you that Jas."

"Well then go ahead?"

"Well, the thing is I don't really know what's wrong, life should be marvy. I've officially snagged the Luurve god, but I can't stop thinking of Dave."

"Well how do you expect me to help you if you don't even know what's wrong?"

"I don't know know Jas, you could try being comforting for once."

"Alright, Georgia I'm very sorry you're a big tart who can't decide on one boy."

I hung up the phone.

**11:00pm**

I should be getting ready for bed, I wonder why Masimo hasn't phone, I am after all his official girlfriend. Though I guess I am seeing him tomorrow.

Perhaps everything in my head will be worked out by then. But then again perhaps not.

Oh with all these things going on in my head I shall never get to sleep...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

**9:45am**

All right today is a new day, and I've decided to put Dave the Tart far out of my head. Anyways I only have two hours to get ready for seeing Masimo.

**9:46am**

I've got a spot! Right on my chin, I'm sure it wasn't there yesterday. Perhaps all this stress is causing me to break out.

**9:52am**

After three heavy shades of cake makeup it appears the spot is relatively invisible, I've put on a lip gloss and a few layers of mascara, I've decided the boy entrancers are really more trouble then they are worth.

I'm wearing a short skirt with some really groovy sandals, putting on a warm sweater and I'm just about ready to go.

**10:00am  
**

I've realized I'm all ready and I'm not supposed to meet Masimo for another hour.

I wonder what he wanted to talk about to begin with, perhaps he's found out about my brief number 6 with Dave on the camping trip.

Well isn't this fab, I've been given an hour to worry.

**10:35am**

Ellen phoned.

"Gee?"

"No I'm sorry she's out right now."

"Oh sorry...Well could you tell her I rang?"

"Ellen you spaz it's me what's going on?"

"Well I've just seen Dave and Masimo..."

"Yes Ellen if you'd please continue."

"Well it looked as they were fighting."

"Where were they?"

"They are down by the park, would you like to meet me there?"

"Sure Ellen I'll be there soon."

**10:45am**

On my way to the park, met up with Ellen and Jools down at the clock tower and now were all walking a bit quickly to see what this tiff all comes down too.

**11:00am**

We've arrived at the park in time, for Dave the throw Masimo's hand bag to the ground, Oh no Dave's got me referring to it as a hand-bag, it is of course not.

As we walk over they both look our way.

"What's going on?"

I said trying to sound concerned but not implying it was about me, very cool as a cucumber.

"Ciao Caro, it seems this Dave fellow how you says is humping me?"

I couldn't help it I started convulsing with laughter.

Masimo had a very stern and serious look on his face so I quickly stopped laughing.

"Have I said something?"

"It's having a hump, not humping."

Sometimes I worry that Masimo's English skills will get him in trouble.

I looked at Dave, who looked very un-Dave like, his face didn't have a single trace of a smile on it.

He looked at me with a small sort of smile.

"This is the end all Kittykat, it's me or him. I can't be a subject to your cosmic horn anymore."

I sat there stunned, life is_ tres merde_.


	2. Chapter 2

**11:45am**

Dave is facing Masimo again clenching his fists, he looked quite fit really.

No no no brain snap out of this red-bottomosity. There are problems at hand.

What in the name of pantyhose is going on?

Masimo's looking at me again, god is he gorgey. His eyes are enough to make me go jelloid.

Now Dave's looking at me again too, he doesn't make me go jelloid but he is quite good looking, and as I've said before a top notch snog.

And he was after all my Horn-advisor.

I've been spending so much time thinking about how I feel about Dave, I've forgotten to think about Masimo.

Masimo is vair vair cool, and totally gorgey. But I don't really know much about him.

Other then the fact that he is not vair good at English.

"So Gee. Who's it going to be, me or this homosexual?"

"Si Caro, you need to choose now."

Alright already, god these guys are pushy. I need a distraction.

"I'll be right back I uh....I need to use the Piddly-diddly Department....Uh yes. I'll return in a moment."

God what a terrible time to turn into Ellen, at least as Georgia I'm capable of coming up with an excuse that doesn't involve urination.

I turned around before either of them, had time to answer. Ellen and Jools of course following quickly behind. We turned around the corner and just as we were out of sight, the nervy spaz began.

"What are you going to do Gee?"

God Ellen was so daft sometimes, if I knew what I was going to do would I really be telling boy's I needed to use the Piddly-diddly Department and running around the corner.

"Well gosh Ellen actually I've got it all figured out?"

"Really?"

"No you spaz."

God I wish Rosie and Jas, were here. Even though neither of them ever really have anything useful to say.

**12:15pm**

Finally making our way back to the boys after what was quite possible the most useless meeting ever.

I still really had no idea, but perhaps I will in the word of Billy Shakespeare. "Follow my heart." Well at least I think he said that.

It doesn't really matter who said it anyways, it is what I shall do.

When we got to the boy's it appears they were just about done with each others company.

Masimo looked at me with those dreamy eyes he really is vair cool. But he did go out with Wet Lindsey at least Dave has never dated her.

Which proves he's got some taste.

Oh _Merde_.

Dave really is such a laugh and he's always there for me, as a freind or Horn-adviser. And he is after all an honorary member of the Ace gang.

"All right Sex Kitty it's now or never."

"Well, I suppose....I chose neither of you."

What! "Attention brain! I don't know if you are aware but you've just chosen neither boy!"

I looked at Dave and Masimo who were just about as surprised as I was.

"All right Caro, if that is what you wish then I suppose this is goodbye, Ciao."

He came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. His lips were so soft.....

Dave did not come over he swung his school bag over his shoulder and walked away.

Ellen and Jools came over and each slung an arm across my shoulder.

**2:30pm  
Emergency Meeting of the Ace Gang  
Rosie's house**

"You mean to say you told them both no?"

That would be Jas forcing me to think about things I did not want too. Jas is vair vair good at being a terrible best freind.

"Well who will be your date to my wedding now?!"

It's true who would be my date to Rosie's wedding, it was becoming painfully clear I was destined to live my life a lonely bitter old women. I should have stuck with the lesbian nun idea.

After about fifteen minutes of snaking and a few to many curly whirly's the ace gang and I have devised a list of the boy's pro's and con's.

**Masimo Pro's  
**

Totally gorgey.

Lead singer of a totally cool band.

Drives a scooter.

Has a vair vair cool accent.

Makes me go all jelloid

(it became painfully aware most of Masimo's attributes were of the physical sort)

**Masimo Con's**

Doesn't understand any of our jokes.

Usually it's very hard to understand anything he says.

Dated Wet Lindsey.

Kept wavering in his devotion to yours truly.

**Dave Pro's**

Great snogger.

Vair Vair amusing.

Always able to make me smile.

Get's along with my pals of both gender variety.

Very helpful.

Speaks English

Likes me even though he knows I'm completely nutters (Jas added that one, she's truly a great freind.)

Never dated Wet Lindsey ( This adds major point's as I've tired of losing boyfriends to that knobby kneed slag)

**Dave Con's**

Doesn't have a major jelloid affect.

Sometimes takes jokes to far.

Going out with Emma (Rosie reminded me of that small detail.

The chart told no lies.

Dave had come out victorious.

I still however was unsure how I felt.

Rang mom to see if I could stay the night at Rosie's.

She (after tons of whining ) aloud me too.

_Le _fact is I've officially hit the bum-oley of life.

**4:30pm**

Sven has decided to throw a Viking zombie party tonight.

This boy truly was a bit off his rocker.

I begged not to have to go as I am mourning, but my friends (sweet as they are) have decided I need to stop wallowing and get out.

We all now have two hours to come up with costume idea's.

"We could wear out furry skirts and have our faces all bloody."

Crazy as Rosie is this really did sound like the best plan of attack.

We do all own furry skirts.

We take Rosie's viking wedding very seriously.

**5:00pm**

We were now all dressed in our furry skirt's I borrowed a very groovy pair of knee length boots from Rosie and we were all getting started on our Zombie makeup.

**5:45pm**

I really like Dave, I do. He's stuck with me through so much, even after I used him to snag the Sex God.

Now I really don't know what to do.

Logically I should be able to talk to my best mate, but she has left to go meet up with Hunky before the party.

Ellen is completely useless, and Rosie is putting together the rest of her Zombie/Viking outfit.

I've decided to try and talk with Jools at least she's sane. And capable of finishing a sentence.

Jools has told me to talk to Dave at the party tonight.

I for some reason hadn't even thought about him coming.

**5:55pm**

Now that I knew Dave was coming I was really nervous. I mean Dave's never made me such a nervy b before. Although I have now rejected his love a good number of times.

I wonder if Dave really did say he loved me.

At this point I really haven't a clue.

All i know if I'm on a one way train to lezzie town if I don't work out all this soon.

**6:00pm**

We all checked our blood (our fake blood, not like our blood sugar level) one last time before heading out towards Sven's house.

We began our walk down the block looking like a bunch of bloody Vikings.

But alluring Sex Kitty bloody vikings.

I'm still having a nervy spaz in my brain. I wish Sven lived farther away, but now were only two doors down from his house, good for Rosie and Sven's constant snog-a-thon bad for my nervy fit.

Sven answered the door in what looked like an entire Bison turned into a pair of flares, his face is covered in a grotesque amount of blood but Rosie went on and gave him a proper snog right there in the doorway.

"Not everyone wants to see that Rosie!"

"Oh get off it Gee"

Eventually the bison stopped they're mating ritual and we were allowed to enter.

I started looking around to see if I could spot Dave anywhere but before I even really had a chance to look, my arm was roughly yanked by the Viking bride to be.

"It's time for the Viking Bison Disco Inferno Gee, grab your horns and get on the dance floor."

Rosie reappeared wearing her horns and a bloody veil. Sven turned on a disco remix of jingle bells and we began to get down. Jas even did her sniffing bit.

And just as we finished, I turned to the door to watch Dave walk in, Emma's arm securely around his waist.

**6:30pm**

I'm officially going to die a lonely bitter women.


End file.
